A Letter From The Owners of SPY Raleigh:

When we began this project, we wanted to create a night club unlike any other that Raleigh has seen. We wanted the Spy experience to be alluring, exciting and luxurious, while incorporating the historic architecture of the building and preserving the personality of this city.

Share in listening to carefully selected music by various musicians and Dj’s while you sip on our finest cocktails, beers and wines. Sit down and relax by the fire or dance the night away while being pampered by our carefully selected and amazing staff.

We want you to feel at home and it is our ultimate goal to continue to provide the finest experience for you. You will always find an open ear and a smile as we graciously welcome your suggestions.

From the moment that you enter our club, you’ll be able to feel that there is something different about this place, this night, this experience. Prepare yourself for the unforgettable.

Thank you for joining us at this moment, and on into the future. Cheers.

Free Entry to anyone who shows their ZSpotCard!!

Located:330 West Davie St, Raleigh,27601

ZSpotlight.com and Mura’s Last Sushi Tasting of the Summer
VIVA Las Vegas! – September 8

The summer’s best monthly outdoor party ends with this Vegas blowout! Mura at North Hills will have multiple cash bars and food stations set up throughout the patio where you can enjoy the best sushi in town. Raleigh’s own DJ Funk Junkie will keep the party going. Vegas showgirls will greet guests on the red carpet, professional Vegas tables will be on premise, Elvis will entertain the masses, and all ticket-holders will be welcomed on to Mura’s transformed patio for this can’t-miss event!

To purchase tickets for this event or learn more CLICK HERE

Thursday, July 7
9:00 pm – 12 midnight

ZSpot.com and Mura are joining forces again this summer
to bring you the best outdoor events all summer!

Luau Party Details
Multiple cash bars and food stations set up throughout the patio where you can enjoy the best sushi in town. One of Raleigh’s own DJ Funk Junkie will keep the party going.

Hula girls will greet guests on the red carpet, fire-breathers will entertain the masses (check out the amazing M.A.R.K. who will be performing), and all ticket-holders will be welcomed on to Mura’s transformed patio for this can’t-miss event!

Tickets on sale now!
Click here to purchase

Non Profit Partner

This month’s non profit partner is Easter Seals.  Guests can make open donations to support this local non profit.  There will also be a variety of leis for party-goers to purchase; 100% of the sales of leis at the luau go to Easter Seals.

Headquartered in Raleigh, NC with programs and services throughout North Carolina and Virginia, Easter Seals UCP is a lifelong partner to families managing disabilities and mental health challenges. The nonprofit serves more than 20,000 individuals and their families annually through an array of services. Easter Seals UCP enhances the quality of life for individuals and maximizes their potential for engaging in their communities.  For more information on Easter Seals UCP North Carolina & Virginia, please visit

Every month from May thru September, we’ll have a Summer Sushi Tasting Party. All events will be 21 and up to enter. We will have multiple cash bars and food stations set up throughout the patio where you can enjoy the best sushi in town!  Every year we have brought something new and exciting to each event and this year will definitely not disappoint- CLICK HERE for full summer lineup.

RALEIGH, NC – January 10, 2011 – The Oxford Gastropub in downtown Raleigh announced their excitement in hosting a Haiti earthquake anniversary event.  On Sunday, January 16, 2011, the Oxford and the Hope for Haiti Foundation will collaborate in efforts to raise money for the nation that suffered the effects of a devastating earthquake one year ago.

A silent auction will take place from 4pm until 8pm, accompanied by live music from several local musicians.  Also, 10 percent of The Oxford’s food sales will go directly to supporting the cause. There is no charge for admittance to the event, but there will be a suggested $5 donation at the door.

“Anytime there is devastation of this magnitude in an underdeveloped nation, it is our duty to lend a hand and continue the outreach programs until that nation becomes self-sufficient,” said James Park, Director of Operations for The Oxford.

Hope for Haiti Foundation is a nonprofit organization incorporated in North Carolina with subsidiaries and volunteers all over the United States and Haiti.  The foundation primarily focuses on the health, education and community development of Haitians in the Sud-East department.  The foundation’s work impacts individual Haitians, consequently empowering them to act and change their own nation.

“We are looking forward to taking the time to remember the victims of last year’s tragic earthquake at the event this weekend. It is also a great opportunity to show the progress we’ve made in the past year, as well as our plans for the future,” said Stephanie Brooks, Hope for Haiti Foundation’s marketing and PR representative.

This anniversary event is one of a series of events hosted by The Oxford’s parent company, Eschelon Hospitality, in 2011 to reach the company’s goal of raising $50,000 for Hope for Haiti Foundation by year’s end.

About The Oxford Gastropub
Raleigh’s first Gastropub opened in October 2008 and has since become a favorite spot for locals.  With high quality pub food and great specials all week long, The Oxford has become the ideal spot to dine.  Featuring live music throughout the weekend, all the best sports games and excellent food, The Oxford is truly a multi-faceted establishment.

Sono Sushi Bar

Sono is right in the heart of downtown Raleigh’s New Year’s Eve celebration!  This year, Sono has an amazing set menu for 50 dollars per person.   Call today to make your dinner reservations: 919-521-5328!

New Year’s Eve Set Menu

50 dollars per person

1st CourseChoice of:

SEARED TUNA Fresh avocado crème fraiche, baby arugula, balsamic ponzu, garlic chips.

SASHIMI SPECIAL Red snapper carpaccio, seared salmon with Japanese mustard vinaigrette, bonito shoyu marinated tuna.

SUSHI TRADITIONAL 6 pieces chef’s choice nigiri sushi.

WHITE TUNA POKE Fresh white tuna, masago, chives, layu chili oil, tobiko caviar, nori chips.

PAN SEARED SCALLOPS U10 diver scallops, honey baked butternut squash soup, dark mushroom soy balsamic glaze.

2nd Course Choice of:

TUNA “WELLINGTON” Konbu soy marinated tuna, shitake duxelles, bonito infused prosciutto, sage butter miso, puff pastry.

SAUTÉED SHRIMP & UNI RISOTTO Jumbo white shrimp, uni puree, shari risotto, cilantro tempura.

GRILLED CHICKEN Kalbi marinade, house teriyaki, wasabi infused Japanese sweet potato puree.

SKIRT STEAK SSAM Asian pear infused anticucho marinade, onion relish, garlic chips, grilled romaine.

SPECIAL ROLL COMBINATION Your choice of any two rolls on our sushi menu.

SUSHI COMBINATION 7 pieces sushi and your choice of a roll. SONO SASHIMI SPECIAL Assorted chef’s choice sashimi served on “glowing glacier” and dry ice effect.

3rd Course Choice of:

GREEN TEA CHEESE
CAKE HOT FUDGE BROWNIE WITH VANILLA ICE CREAM
TRIO OF ICE CREAM

Sono Sushi Bar
319 Fayettville Street
Raleigh, N.C.  27601

Ring in 2011 at The Oxford Gastropub in downtown Raleigh! The capital city’s main celebrations (the acorn drop + fireworks) all take place on Fayetteville Street and you can be in the heart of the party.

We have dinner and late night celebrations.  Dinner has limited seatings and we are offering a set menu. Call for reservations: 919.832.6622.  Late night, we have live music from Aftershock, no cover, and a free champagne toast at midnight for everybody!

Oxford Raleigh

See full details on dinner + late night below…

The Dinner Menu

$45 per person during our 6pm or 7pm early dinner seatings
$55 per person during our 8pm or 9pm late night seatings

First Course
choice of:

ELK CARPACCIO & TARTAR
reggiano | arugula | truffle | cold pressed olive oil | red onion | dijon mustard

FRIED PUMPKIN GNOCCHI
bleu cheese butter | toasted pumpkin seeds | arugula

BRUSCHETTA
onions | fresh mozzarella | white truffle oil | roma tomatoes |
basil | balsamic reduction

OXFORD HOUSE OR CAESAR SALAD
choice of dressing: grain mustard vinaigrette | balsamic |
smoky chipotle ranch | bleu cheese

Second Course
choice of:

COLORADO LAMB RACK
curried chick peas | lentils & leeks | mint yogurt

BRAISED PORK SHANK
white bean ragout | duck confit | parsnip |
bing cherry gastrique

BLACKENED SALMON
orzo pasta | tasso ham | lump crab |  asparagus |
tarragon cream | five pepper butter

RISOTTO
butternut squash | zucchini | parsnip | sweet peas | arugula |
yellow squash |  grated parmesan

HERB ROASTED CHICKEN BREAST
cranberry & pecan rice pilaf | grilled asparagus | thyme veloute

GRILLED NEW YORK STRIP
roasted root vegetables | lump crab | caviar béarnaise

Third Course
choice of:

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE TIRAMISU

WARM APPLE CRISP

WHITE CHOCOLATE & CRANBERRY BRIOCHE BREAD PUDDING

PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE

Late Night – Ring in 2011!

Join us at the Oxford to enjoy the Triangle’s Premiere 80′s rock cover band, Aftershock!  Playing from 10:30pm-2am you can rock out and sing along to popular songs of the 80s rock era.  NO COVER! Free Champagne Toast at Midnight for everybody!

Call for reservations: 919.832.6622

The Oxford
319 Fayettville Street
Raleigh, N.C.  27601

ZSpotlight.com and Mura of North Hills hosted one of the Triangle’s most exclusive outdoor evenings last night in North Raleigh for a capacity crowd of 300 plus.  With a winning combination of high end sushi, great music, and exciting ambiance, ZSpot added a fashion show into the mix with the runway surrounding the beautiful outdoor fountain in North Hills.  With tickets selling out well before the event, Mura and the ZSpotlight plan to expand this unique event series for the next party June 3rd, 2010.  This ZSpot concept will continue to thrive in North Raleigh throughout the summer.  For photos, visit the ZSpot Photo Galleries.  Last night’s photos are uploading now onto Z.

Event Link:  ZSpot Sushi Tasting Party

If you want to get invited to this event or be informed weekly on all the best dining and entertainment events, click here and sign up for our newsletter!  Z-Weekly Weekend Update

For other great event tickets, and AMAZING DEALS, visit these pages!  ZSpot Great Deals

Every month from May- September ZSpotlight will have a Summer Sushi Tasting Party at Mura of North Hills. All events will be 21 and up to enter. Ticket prices are $10 to party and eat, or party after all sushi tasting tickets are sold out.  We will have multiple cash bars and food stations set up throughout the patio where you can enjoy the best sushi in town!  Every year we have brought something new and exciting to each event and this year will definitely not disappoint!  Dates and themes are listed below so save the date and start planning that perfect outfit to fit our themes!

These events are very popular so please do purchase your tickets in advance!  We want you to be a part of this amazing experience!

Tobacco Road Cellars Wine Series Set to Begin

Billed as “Not Your Typical Winemaker Dinner”

January 25, 2010; Raleigh, NC – Boutique winery, Tobacco Road Cellars, is hosting a wine
series at Solas in the Glenwood South entertainment district of downtown Raleigh beginning
Wednesday, January 27th and following on February 24th and March 24th.

Winery owner Jason Earnest will walk the dining room and introduce Tobacco Road Cellars to diners as well as offer special pricing for some of his winery’s highly acclaimed vintages like Tobacco Road ‘s deep red with soft purple rim, lifted bright fresh berry fruit showing red currant and blueberry notes. Rich mouth filling weight that swamps the palate with ripe, juicy flavor that runs through to a long and fine tannin finish.”

Also featured on January 27th is a Pinot Noir from Santa Lucia Highland, one of California’s up and coming viticulture regions. In fact, many wine writers and enthusiasts agree that the Santa Lucia Highlands stands shoulder to shoulder among the top names in Pinot.   From Santa Barbara’s White Hawk Vineyard, Earnest is introducing a beautiful Syrah created through a 100% signature single vineyard. This region is quickly being recognized by wine connoisseurs the world over as a top producing wine region.

“Drinking good wine is an experience, something special; it’s a celebration of sharing, connecting with someone and making memories,” says Earnest. The North Carolina native started Tobacco Road Cellars in 2004 after going to Napa Valley on a whim to create own wine to give as holiday gifts. After bottling 25 cases of Cabernet Sauvignon and tasting his bounty, Earnest was bitten by this new passion. Earnest has not lost sight on what brought his vision to where he is today. He plans on keeping Tobacco Road Cellars very intimate, keeping it a oneon-one personal experience that is lacking in today’s world.

“From the succulent grapes that we hand pick, to the high-end French oak barrels we use for aging, to the delicate hand-dipped wax seal, we pay attention to every single detail and demand the highest quality at every level,” remarked Earnest. Today, Tobacco Road Cellars has a halfdozen bottlings under its belt, a host of loyal collectors and wine enthusiasts vying for a bottle of their limited production, and the endorsement of Gary Vaynerchuk of the nation’s best-known wine aficionados. Tobacco Road Cellars also was just named “Winery of the Month” by Amanda Hagood of The

 Reservations are recommended for the Tobacco Road Wine Series at Solas where diners also will enjoy an award winning meal from Executive Chef Cliff Vogelsberg.

What: Tobacco Road Cellars Winer SeriesSharon Delaney McCloud; 919-810-5085; sharondmccloud@gmail.com

When: January 27th, February 24th and March 24th

Time: 7:00 pm – 11:00 pm

Where: Solas – 419 Glenwood Avenue, Raleigh

Reservations: Call Solas now at 919-755-0755

Remember, you get 10% off everytime you use your ZSpotCard on all food items inside Sono.

10% Off With Your ZSpotCard!

Mondays

4 course dinner for 25 dollars
Tuesdays

½ price bottles of wine
Wednesdays

$5 martinis

Thursdays

½ price drafts and hot sake
Sundays

½ off apps with purchase of entrée

Lunch Specials Everyday
2 Special Rolls for $14

$9 Lunch Everyday: Soup, Salad, and a Roll                              

miso soup, house salad, and your choice of one special roll

For more information, visit ZSpotlight.com or SonoRaleigh.com

See You On Z Town!

Since the completion of Fayettville Street a couple years ago, Fayetteville Street has become the home for every single street festival in Downtown.  And now that the street is open from the Capitol Building to Progress Energy Performing Arts Center, the options for holding street festivals like Raleigh Wide Open are infinite.

To see all of Raleigh/Durham’s New Year’s Eve events,  Click Here.

The next upcoming major event hosted by Raleigh’s on this popular main street is First Night, to celebrate the new year.  Event starts at 5pm and will last until midnight. Various performers and activities will be live throughout the local businesses that make up Fayettville Street and the surrounding area, including live music, dancing, and more!  Visitors can admire the Raleigh City Museum,  enjoy discussions at the Urban Design Center, or listen to music concerts at local churches and the Progress Energy Center.

This night will climax on the main stage with the band Annuals followed by fireworks and the annual dropping of the Raleigh Acorn.

The First Night Event Map can be viewed here and more on the performers and activities here.

Download the full First Night Downtown Raleigh Schedule here (PDF).

Step out of Raleigh and experience  all the glamour and sophistication of NYC.  Upon entry you will immediately transform to an: Empire State of Mind.”  Start out with Manhattan’s hottest new concoction, The Stoli Red Apple Martini debuting only on New Years Eve here at ESS Lounge.

Ess is a facility featuring the urban and nouveau styles of Manhattans upper west side. 

You don’t need to leave Raleigh, to get out of town.  Our $50 all-inclusive (call drinks, appetizers, and champnage toast, etc) Deal is the best ticket in town to bring in 2010.  Click Here To Purchase Tickets

Raleigh is growing so fast, and with so many new and exciting nightlife hotspots, sometimes it’s hard to keep up with all of them.  So we’ve decided to develop and present a weekly top 40 list of the area’s favorites.  This ranking is completely based on viewer page views on ZSpotlight.com and also the number of positive comments to this blog with reasons why your favorite bar or nightlife spot should earn extra points.  So post your thoughts every week and let us know what you think!  If your favorite isn’t listed just yet, then let us know also!  Enjoy!  We will begin adding information on the top 40 as we receive it!

This week’s features

1. Solas
2. Noir
3. 606 Lounge
4. White Collar Crime
5. Red Room Lounge
6. Sullivan’s Steakhouse
7. Lucky B’s Sports Bar
8. Hibernian Irish Pub & Restaurant
9. Napper Tandy’s Irish Pub
10. Mosaic Wine Lounge
11. Buckhead Saloon
12. Cashmere
13. Legends
14. Carolina Ale House (Brier Creek)
15. Michael Dean’s
16. Black Flower Bar
17. Bogart’s
18. The Oxford
19. Oliver Twist Lounge
20. Raleigh Times Bar
21. Ess Lounge
22. Tir Na Nog Irish Pub
23. Vivace
24. Hi5 Sports Bar
25. 42nd Street
26. Amra’s Stogies & Spirits
27. Lynnwood Grill & Bar
28. The Point
29. The Pourch
30. The Big Easy
31. Foster’s
32. Mura
33. Club Dolce
34. The Busy Bee
35. Tantra Dance Lounge
36. Flying Saucer
37. The Bassment
38. Rudino’s Rooftop Bar
39. Sono Sushi Bar
40. The Downtown Sports Bar & Grill

Solas is the Triangle’s most popular rooftop lounge, and boasts three levels of dining, lounge and entertainment, each offering a unique experience all its own.  With VIP cabanas and a view like no other, Solas has quickly become an exclusive favorite on Glenwood Avenue in Raleigh.  Very busy on weekends, and offers a magical combination of dining and nightlife.  Saturdays are always busy after 10:30pm, so come early!

Noir Bar and Lounge is nestled in the heart of Glenwood South and is a new bar and lounge that boasts an open patio and a luxurious inner bar and dance floor, with a sexy Miami vibe, mixing European sophistication and unique touches of unpretentious glamour.  You’ll want to keep your eye on this place, as it soon will define “hip and sexy” in the Triangle.  Their innovative potions and varied music will certainly attract a smart and diverse clientele, an exciting mingling crowd.  PHOTOS  Noir, with it’s larger than average dance floor, patio, and great DJ’s has quickly become a nightlife favorite on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.  The majority of the crowd usually arrives after midnight.

 606 Lounge has the reputation of being a favorite upscale dance venue with a redesigned interior, great music from resident DJs, and an outdoor patio. Located in Raleigh’s Historic Warehouse District.  This dance hotspot has been able to stay consistently busy with an energetic crowds on Fridays and Saturdays, and continuously offers an attractive option on other days of the week.

White Collar Crime is consistently one of the busiest bars in Raleigh, with no cover charge any night of the week, and local DJs with a casual dress code.

Cashmere Lounge has recently opened as an upscale martini and tapas lounge that serves signature martinis, fine wines, and a selection of delectable dishes from an extensive tapas menu.  It’s a perfect place to relax, with cozy booths surrounded by rich sheer fabric draping, soft chandelier lighting, and soft sounds of live acoustical music performed every evening. Stay later to dance the night away with a top local DJs spinning the best in Top 40 hits. 

If you are feeling international, then Red Room Lounge has to be on your list for small tapas and dancing.  Thursday nights are Salsa nights, where you can taste experience delectable food enhanced with homemade sangrias and incredible Spanish wines inside or outside on their patio while dancing the night away.

 Sullivan’s Steakhouse, a steakhouse icon on Glenwood Avenue, attracts a mature crowd with an extensive wine list and and complete inventory of bourbon, single malt scotch and cognoc.  Sullivan’s features the finest steaks and seafood, unparalleled martinis, and great live jazz!

 And for something much more casual, Lucky B’s is always a fun Sports Bar with a party atmosphere where you can wear jeans any day of the week and have the cheapest beer in Raleigh.  There’s a heated patio and Lucky’s mixes top 40 and house music all night long.

Legends is a private club catering to Raleigh’s Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender community. This night features some of the best new dance tracks, female impersonation, and live entertainment.

Ess Lounge has been one of the top nightclubs for almost three years, as an upscale lounge and dancefloor with a very nice patio.  PHOTOS

And if you are feeling Irish or just love a warm, local, neighborhood bar with lot’s of non-domestic beers, the Hibernian Irish Pub is a long time favorite.  This venue is a blend of the Irish Pubs of old and the vibrancy of the new modern Irish culture.  It is a meeting place for all to talk, argue, debate, to sign and to laugh, drink and eat while listening to traditional Irish music. 

Tantra is a new upscale nightclub and Ultra lounge that  encompasses the excitement of an upscale nightclub with the charm of your favorite lounge. featuring magnificent waterfalls, crystal chandeliers, glass fire pits, lava bar surfaces, and a custom Jelly Fish aquarium.  You can indulge yourself in one of the VIP rooms surrounded by beautiful glass. 
TANTRA is located at 310 S.West Street at the corner of West and Martin. 21 $ Up.

Check in with us next week, as we add 7 more venues to our list and update our viewer rankings.  Be sure to add a comment or two below!  See you On Z Town!

Power Rankings are determined by a mathematical combination of page views, photo page views, weekly features, overall popularity, and positive comments by viewers.  Positive reviews and comments have the heaviest weight in scoring.  Rankings will be updated weekly!  If you have any comments or information as to why any of these venues are your favorite, please share with a comment to this blog below.

To add your restaurant or bar to ZSpotlight.com as a listing or an advertising client, contact us by emailing webmaster@zspotlight.com.

If you want to see all the photos every week, visit our extensive photo gallery or our main nightlife section for the Triangle’s best in bars, music, and fun On Z Town.

We’ve looked at what goes wrong when approaching women, so let’s figure out how and why things go right. As with all things, it takes time to get it right, so be patient and go slowly. You CAN do this!

Before approaching a girl who’s caught your eye, observe the situation: does she seem totally into her friends, or is she taking a genuine interest in the activity and people around her? In other words, is she even approachable? Approaching a girl at the wrong time can be as effective as waking your dad during his Sunday afternoon nap to ask him for money, so make sure she’s into meeting anyone before trying to interest her in meeting you.

Make eye contact first, and make sure she looks back at you. Once is not enough, because it could have been an accident. If you get any warmth back at all, from a friendly glint to red hot desire, then gently move in. I say gently because if you come on too strong, a girl might feel threatened or even mistake your zealousness for desperation.

While smiling and acting truly friendly, confidently introduce yourself. Try commenting on interesting people, activities nearby (“I just heard Darius Rucker is out in the bars tonight, have you seen him?”), asking her opinion on whatever event is on a nearby TV screen, or simply giving a non-sexual compliment. Be relaxed and in control, maybe in lean a tiny bit to show your interest specifically in her. Be careful, as she will not be impressed if you’re talking to her but still scanning the bar for your next target. If you’ve approached her, commit to it or you may as well wave a “Player” flag. If it looks like you have been or are planning to hit on multiple women in the bar, your credibility is shot.

Once you’ve broken the ice with a smooth intro – brace for the key point here — make it clear you have no intention of camping out in her space, and explain you have friends to get back to. This serves two purposes: it takes the pressure off and validates you. If a one or two minute chat goes well, consider this win #1. Be content with this small step and resist the temptation to dive right in, which is where most guys blow it. Don’t forget girls don’t go to bars alone. Diverting her attention for very long or efforts to pull her away from her friends will create ill will from the entire group. So be brief, excuse yourself, and while making solid eye contact say, “Maybe we can talk later.” Leave her feeling desired and wanting more.

How can you tell if she wants more? Did she laugh at your hilarious jokes? Did she play with her hair or the straw in her drink? Is she now blushing and making playful eye contact with you across the room? If she made any physical contact, like touching your arm while she laughed, it’s a very good sign. Women don’t intentionally or affectionately touch people they do not desire in some way.

If she did none of this, unless you get the feeling she was just incredibly shy, take the hint she’s not interested. You can approach the second time, but if she seems disinterested, or if your comic genius isn’t being appreciated, then give her your best “no harm, no foul” smile and an enthusiastic “It was great to meet you”. Cut your losses, but go out like a gentleman.

If you’re getting a good vibe, come back again for a brief chat. This time let her do most of the talking. Show interest in what she’s saying and in getting to know her. Smile, make eye contact and show her respect. You’d be amazed at how far those three little, but often ignored, things will take you with the right girl. Girls are people too, just like your friends and your family, and they want to be treated with the same appreciation you’d give those you care about. Close with an offer of getting together sometime soon (not that evening). Promise to call her at a specific time, and commit to actually doing it. She doesn’t know you well yet, but if she’s intrigued she’ll want to know more and will happily give you her number.

A helpful hint: If you’re not particularly comfortable with making the first move, get an introduction through someone. Taking a girl as your wingman to the bar could be a big help, since girls can get you in where guys can’t easily.

Don’t be afraid to approach the pretty girls either. Want to know why they always seem to go for the wrong guys? They are usually only approached by the arrogant jackasses who have the guts to sidle up to them. A genuine gentleman, no matter how average-looking he may think he is, has a better shot than you’d think.

So what’s the bottom line? Give chemistry a chance. It doesn’t take gimmicks, twenty questions, buying her tequila shots, or extreme persuasion. It takes a genuine effort of making a girl feel special and respected enough so she can decide if you’re someone she wants to get to know better…perhaps over a drink next week?

Let me know how it goes!

In Part 1, I discussed why approaching women is such a tricky task.  Men around the world feel your pain, and the women who’ve endured the fumbling approaches do too.  It’s time to get to the meat of the problem: what works and what doesn’t, because after all, identifying the problem is just the first step.

So what are some of the wrong ways men approach women?  Wait, “wrong” sounds so harsh; let’s go with “ineffective.”  Believe me, I could fill a 256GB hard drive with the lame lines, goofy gimmicks, and desperate approaches my girlfriends and I have survived over the years, but I will try to boil it down to a few general efforts that, in our eyes, ultimately don’t get guys the right attention.

First there’s the pushy and offensive approach, which can take many forms.  The guy can be grabby, touch excessively or just come on way too strong.  Enthusiasm is great, but why not let her decide how close or when it’s time to get cozy?  While getting all up in her personal space may secure temporary attention, most girls will feel cornered or even violated, and will find a way to ditch Groping Guy at the first opportunity.

Secondly there are the lame or offensive pick-up lines and gimmicks.  Let me state I am NOT a fan.  Many men think they need something unique or entertaining to break the ice.  What they don’t realize is while some women may tolerate an inane conversation or politely laugh at a ridiculous line, they will not take you seriously and overall will not be impressed with you beyond your ability to make an ass out of yourself.  Are you hoping to be seen as Clueless Guy with the dorky lines, or as Cool & Sexy Guy she wants to laze in bed with tomorrow morning?  Ask yourself this the next time you want to approach a group of girls for their opinion on the debate your friends are supposedly having: “Who’s got the best rack in Hollywood?”  (Yes, this cringe-worthy opener was used on a couple of us recently)

There are also the quiet and timid guys who have no plan at all, mumble, and have already accepted defeat before they even uttered their first word.  Those are the most frustrating, because the girl feels guilty right off the bat, but she is also underwhelmed by the lack of confidence and strength.  She usually doesn’t have to excuse herself because Low Self-Esteem Guy beat her to the punch, leaving her sitting there bewildered, wondering “what just happened?”

Lastly I see plenty of guys intensely working what many people refer to as “interview mode,” accosting the girl with a barrage of questions.  This is the guy who is already asking the next question (about her hometown, her job, where she went to school, her preference of dogs or cats) before the girl can quite complete her last answer.  Her answers get shorter and shorter, and she grows impatient, so he pushes harder and faster with questions hoping for any answers just to maintain her attention and the flow.  Again, while it may temporarily seem like he’s doing well because he’s upholding the conversation at a skillful pace, it’s very one-sided and the girl is going to feel overwhelmed.  Eventually she’ll glaze over and decide she doesn’t want to waste her time recanting her life story to someone she never wants to talk to again.

There are more, but you get the idea.  In each case, the problem lies in the approach not focusing on impressing or intriguing the girl, but rather imposing upon her.  Is it possible to get the right attention the right way?  My answer is coming up in a few short days.

As all women know, each and every guy has his own style in approaching women. Some men boast they know exactly what’s going to get them an “in” with the ladies, but it seems most claim not to have a clue about what they’re doing. From a girl’s perspective, it seems insanely simple, but I’ll bet most guys will not like hearing what I have to say regarding what could be most effective and why.

In our culture men are supposed to approach, then girls welcome or rebuff these approaches. You can argue things have changed – “the 21st century encourages a less traditional view” — but for the majority of us out there, this is simply how it still goes. That said, I believe most women today appreciate and are flattered by guys approaching them. With the exception of a demure yet provocative “come hither” look, many girls will shoot at a cute guy across the bar, it will be the rare and “ballsy” girl who takes the initiative to actually approach a guy in a social setting. Someone has to initiate, and if you’re a guy, that person might as well be you. “You miss all the shots you don’t take.” Take Gretsky’s words to heart and seize the good opportunities. Believe me, as you get older, you don’t want to carry around regrets about missed chances with great girls.

I’ll bet you’re thinking, women get hit on so much by guys. Most seem like they don’t want to deal with yet another guy coming up and wasting their time. How do I know when to approach and how do I set myself apart? Don’t I need some hook or signature line? What if she just rejects me straight out in some horrible and humiliating way? What is it about some guys who seem to have such luck and others who always strike out? There has to be something I’m missing.

You’re right, there is! If this is your concern, let me offer this hint: both guys and girls need to accept that although it’s mostly a numbers game, it’s also about choosing when, why and how to approach to secure success. Understanding what women want goes a long way toward giving them that and gaining not just the attention, but even the admiration, of a great girl.

Before I sign off and go to Part 2: What Goes Wrong, let me leave you with this: no one can help who they are and are not attracted to. Chemistry is real and it’s either there or it’s not, usually right off the bat. It’s not really something that’s up for discussion. Approaching is hard because you don’t know if she’ll bite on your line, or bite your head off. However, keeping perspective goes a long way toward maintaining your resilience. Yes, a rejection is personal, but it’s not the real you if she doesn’t know you yet; it’s just the fleeting idea of you in a loud and noisy bar, or a bustling and distracting restaurant. Generally speaking, girls are more interested in personality than looks, so keep in mind maybe you were hooked the moment you saw her walk in, but she likely won’t be nearly as interested yet because she doesn’t know you. You want to have a chance? You’re going to have to go over and talk to her to see if chemistry is in your favor. After that, it’s part timing, part style, and luck of the draw. We’ll see if we can get you past “hello” in Parts 2 & 3.

A guy friend of mine asked me the other day, “Why do girls go to bars, then go to great lengths to avoid talking to anyone except the girls they’re with?”  Um…because they want to talk to the girls they came with?  Is this a trick question?

Then I realized he, and many guys, really may question this. Sure, when the time is right we all love to mingle, and we girls try to make it obvious: sitting in an open and approachable spot, making eye contact and easy conversation with those around us, inviting people in.  However, just as often we desire some focused time with close friends.  Whenever I go to the downstairs bar at Solas or Oliver Twist for some of that girl time, we try to find a quiet corner so we can indulge in a bottle of wine and some catching up.  Strangely there is inevitably a long cast of men interrupting our evening, even if we’re giving off a “we’re not in a mingling mood” vibe.  Why is it assumed we wouldn’t enjoy respectful distance if we’re trying to be clear we’re there only for each other?

I tried to explain to this friend why women go out, and to break it to him it isn’t always — and for some women, it’s rarely — about meeting and hooking up with the opposite sex.  I mentioned how many of us are busy and don’t see our friends as often as we’d like, so focused time together over appetizers and a martini is relished.  Then I reminded him of Facebook and how reunions with long lost friends are becoming very common. Sure we love to mingle, but we also cherish our friend time.

We women like to bust out the rocking dress we love to wear and enjoy feeling fabulous for a few hours.  We are usually the ones cooking, cleaning and taking care of everyone at home, so it’s always nice to go somewhere with good music, where we can all sit and be waited on, without a mess to clean afterward.  Going to Blue Martini for a drink and to enjoy some live music, in these cases, doesn’t equate to meeting men and indulging in inane bird-dogging discussions. I personally have been baffled by guys who almost act like we owe them conversation just because we’re in public, even if we’re making it clear we aren’t there to mingle and politely stating we just want to enjoy some uninterrupted friend time.  I’ve actually had a guy call me a very nasty name for such behavior.  His claim was I didn’t need to be at a bar if I was going to be “all stuck up and stuff”.  I’d promised my friend my time and my attention, so how does honoring that equate to stuck up?

I can get the word out there about the many and varied reasons why women go to bars.  The puzzle piece I don’t have is this: why do men go to bars?  Is it really as simple as looking to meet women and hook up?  I don’t want to underestimate the male intentions, so maybe you, my wonderful readers, can school Mimi on this.

 

“Contemporary lighting in spicy hues of cinnamon and amber cast a warm glow over a large sleek bar” that offers a full wine selection and more than 50 signature martinis!  A décor of “oversized leather couches, low tables, richly textured pillows, unique artwork and swaths of fabric draped from” above provide an inviting yet, intimate atmosphere.  Lounge seating and Moroccan-style serving trays set the stage for an eclectic sampling of internationally-inspired tapas guaranteed to excite the taste buds and elevate your spirit.

Oliver Twist strives to maintain a be-seen-at nightspot reputation without the hassle of the red velvet rope.  Amenities include a VIP lounge, private dining, and alfresco dining.  Nightly Entertainment includes Professional Belly Dancers, Live Music and the Triangle’s Hottest DJ’s.  Late Nights, Themed Parties, and a designated monthly Night of the Arts often include a who’s who of local talent.  Think of us as your sophistication destination.

Corporate/Group Events & Parties

We may be sophisticated but we definitely know how to party.  Be it an intimate get-together, a small reunion, or a full-scale throw-down, Oliver Twist is equipped to fulfill your desires with absolute perfection. Regardless of the scale of your entertainment requirements, Oliver Twist is committed to passionately developing and executing your event with the highest possible standards.

Our catering services are available for any and all types of events and we offer a menu assortment that will appease virtually every catering need.  Once you’ve made your selection, we begin with the finest quality ingredients, which are carefully prepared and meticulously presented for visual delight as well as intense flavor.  Add first-rate service and you can rest assured nothing has been overlooked in an effort to guarantee the success of your special event.

Hello fellow wine lovers. Whether you just simply enjoy sipping wine or you are as mesmerized as I am about the entire process of how these grapes get into our glass; welcome to The Wine Lovers Blog, part of The Traveling Grape. I want my blog to be an open forum so everyone can share their experiences, ideas, thoughts, new finds, great deals, fun stories, upcoming wine events, great new restaurants with interesting wine menus and flights…..just anything and everything about wine. To me a glass of wine signifies bringing people together and that is exactly what I want to do!

My first visit to California’s wine country was in April of 2001. My sister Kim and I shared this amazing experience together, and I have never looked at a glass of wine the same. With each visit to Napa and Sonoma I learn so much about the process of wine making and how many different schools of thought there are about growing grapes and making wine. Each time I hope to come back with that magical answer to that questions we all ask, “What makes great wine?” Sure; Harvest is in the fall, but when do you pick the grapes, which grapes get picked first – hillside, valley, certain appellations, and certain varietals? What barrels produce the best wine? French Oak, American Oak, smooth barrel, ridges in the barrel, 12 months, 24 months? How long should a bottle age before it shows its best? Do estate grapes make a better wine than those sourced out? All these questions and so many more, yet with each return home to The Triangle I always learn the most beautiful thing of all! There are no rules. Every grape grower and every wine maker does things so differently. Every critic has something different to say. I find this so interesting and intriguing. With this experience I enjoy every sip that much more.

I think the same thought process should go towards drinking wine. There are so many rules that it can intimidate people and actually keep many from not only trying new wines but enjoying them. We should all just savor our wine, share what we love, and have our own ideas about what wine means to us, the flavors we get out of it, what food we enjoy best with what varietals we prefer. I do give allot of credit and highly encourage you wine lover to take time to learn more about wine and sophisticating your palette, and especially to training your senses so you can pick up aromas found in wine to heighten your enjoyment. It will also help you find what it is in wine you enjoy so you can try new varietals and new labels and expand your own personal enjoyment.

But when it really comes down to it, wine is about enjoying what’s in your glass and bringing friends together. That is my main goal. To grow a community of new friends made up of wine drinkers (all of you, even those sipping on White Zinfandel), wine distributors, wine store owners, restaurants, sommeliers – so we can learn and grow our appreciation from all view points. So again welcome to The Wine Lovers Blog and cheers! I hope you enjoy my weekly posts and look forward to your comments.

http://boothamphitheatre.com/movies.htm

For a mere $3, kids under 12 are free, patrons can bring picnic dinners, a blanket or chair and participate in a fun filled evening as the spacious lawn at Booth Amphitheatre is transformed in to an outdoor movie theatre.

Gates will open at 6pm and the movies will start at 7pm.

Reel-ly Scary Cary Movie Schedule

PSYCHO
Monday, October 26th

Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, Vera Miles
Universal Pictures; Directed by Alfred Hitchcock
Black and White; Not Rated

Certainly Hitchcock’s most unrelenting exercise in terror, PSYCHO remains one of the most terrifying films of all time. Countlessly imitated but never equaled, PSYCHO’s tale of a strange young man and his possessive mother features the now-famous shower scene, the sinister Bates Motel, and the creepy house that overlooks it. (1960)

THE SHINING
Tuesday, October 27th

Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall
Warner Bros.; Directed by Stanley Kubrick
Rated R

Called “a masterpiece of modern horror” and “a tour-de-force of sheer terror” by the critics, Stanley Kubrick’s film is a chilling adaptation of Stephen King’s novel. THE SHINING combines eerie special effects, haunting performances by Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall, and an unmistakable aura of evil into a spectacular horror film. (1980)

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (shown in 3-D)
Wednesday, October 28th

Brianna Brown, Joshua DesRoches, Sid Haig, Johanna Black
Directed by Jeff Broadstreet
Rated R

In this 3D chiller, Barb and her brother, Johnny, arrive late for the burial of their aunt – and walk straight into a nightmare. With zombies on her heels, Barb flees the cemetery and is rescued by Ben, a local college student. The two seek refuge in the nearby farmhouse of the Cooper family, where the laid-back residents aren’t remotely prepared to have their lives turn into a horror movie. But Barb is destined for an even grimmer confrontation – with the dark secret of the pyrophobic mortician, Gerald Tovar Jr (2006)

CASPER
Thursday, October 29th

Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Cathy Moriarty, Eric Idle
Universal Pictures; Directed by Brad Silberling
Rated PG
Casper, the world’s friendliest ghost, makes his motion picture debut as a supernatural sidekick to a lonely young girl who may be the only human that can confirm that the peaceful poltergeist does indeed exist. Kat (Christina Ricci) is a cute and curious kid who discovers Casper in an abandoned house in her new hometown in this touching comedy that blends live action with brilliant computer-animated effects. (1995)

FRANKENSTEIN
Double Feature Friday, October 30th

Boris Karloff, Colin Clive
Universal Pictures; Directed by James Whale
Black and White; Not Rated

The most famous horror film of all time. When brilliant but deranged Dr. Frankenstein (Colin Clive) attempts to create life out of the organs of dead bodies, a grotesque, pitiful monster (Boris Karloff) is born. Screenwriter Robert Florey devised the now-famous plot twist in which the monster is accidentally given a madman’s brain adding additional terror to Mary Shelley’s original dark and foreboding tale. (1931)

DRACULA
Double Feature Friday, October 30th

Frank Langella, Laurence Olivier,
Donald Pleasence, Kate Nelligan
Universal Pictures; Directed by John Badham
Rated R

When a schooner is wrecked off Whitby the only survivor is Count Dracula who has arrived with large amounts of Transylvanian soil to take up residence in Carfax Abbey. He makes friends with Dr Seward who runs the local asylum and with his daughter Lucy, her friend Mina, and with Jonathan Harker, Lucy’s solicitor fiance. But almost immediately, Mina dies from loss of blood, and just possibly this may not be a coincidence. (1979) 

All movies are a neighborhood event.
*Movie night films and times are subject to change without notice

Movie Nights are weather dependent. In the event of inclement weather the movie MAY be cancelled. Please call 919-462-2025 for an event notice update. If a movie night has to be postponed or rescheduled and tickets have been purchased, rain checks will be issued.

101 Lounge + Cafe

**Serving breakfast, lunch + late!**

101 Lounge + Café provides a trendy, urban atmosphere and comfortable environment catering to daytime Raleigh downtown workers, nighttime leisure seekers, residents + visitors.  With a combination of alfresco street side seating, downstairs cafe, and upstairs lounge, this thriving lounge is a place to visit.

101 features a non-smoking, full service lounge with healthy & tasty selections. The café features Joe Van Gogh coffees + espresso along with breakfast sandwiches, bagels with homemade cream cheeses and a variety of yogurt and fruits.

For lunch + late, 101 has a variety of light fare ranging from fresh salads, tasty sandwiches, seam bursting wraps and intriguing late night small plates. They proudly serve a wide selection of the finest spirits, cocktails and wines. Our bar is also stocked with a variety of local, domestic and imported beers. We currently have over 20 bottled selections and 4 seasonal drafts.  Come visit and see for yourself.

For more information visit www.ZSpotlight.com keyword “101.”

444 S. Blount St. Raleigh 27601 919.833.8008

I don’t spend a lot of time defining it, but I spend every hour of everyday doing it.  Equipped with a steaming soy latte, I brave the rush hour traffic into and out of RTP.  I hit the gym at lunch or go for a run around a park if it’s a pretty day.  I meet friends for a laid back dinner in the ‘burbs or we get dressed up for a big night out on Glenwood.  I tailgate at football and Hurricanes games, and always get tickets to see the good concerts and shows.  I make a solid effort to support my friends’ endeavors, whether it’s a local charity benefit, a new business, a gallery showing, a band, or helping to plan a party for a milestone event.  All this I do alone, but always in the hopes of perhaps meeting a great guy, who just might think I’m great too, along the way.

If I had to use one word to sum up what exactly it is I’m doing, I’d have to say it’s “searching”.  Not just searching for someone to date, but searching for my place in this ever-changing and growing area.  Every time I turn around there’s a new restaurant, music venue, bar, refurbished part of a downtown area or other hot spot popping up.  I am undeniably curious about and eager to indulge in whatever new enticements these establishments offer.

There’s no way I can hit everything, but I’m perpetually excited to get out there and in the mix. I’m a real person with a real job, real desires, real struggles, and real things I want out of life, just like you.  While I’m searching for a man to touch my heart, a restaurant to satisfy a craving, music to feed my soul or a martini to brighten the mischievous twinkle in my eye, I will gladly and openly share my adventures through the Triangle. Perhaps you’ll see a bit of yourself in here? Maybe you can learn from my great experiences and unfortunate mistakes?

I plan to dish the good, the bad and the ugly experiences to you.  You’re welcome to laugh with me or at me, as long as you follow one simple rule: don’t take anything too seriously.  As they say, life is not a destination, it’s a journey, and I plan to have as much fun as possible along the way.

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” — J.R.R. Tolkien

Got an idea for a hotspot or event I should try?  Email me: mimi@zspotlight.com

Nestled in the heart of Glenwood South is a new bar and lounge unlike anything Raleigh has seen yet.  Boasting an open patio and a luxurious inner bar and dance floor, Noir Bar & Lounge offers a sexy Miami vibe, with a mix of European sophistication, and a unique touch of unpretentious glamour.  You’ll want to keep your eye on this place, as it soon will define “hip and sexy” in the Triangle.  Their innovative potions and varied music will certainly attract a smart and diverse clientele, an exciting mingling crowd.

When you enter Noir, you almost feel you are part of a small elite that has discovered a secret and exclusive gem hidden in plain sight of the Glenwood South bar district.  The décor inside is breathtakingly simple, yet intense and mysterious, with glittering chandeliers and candles ablaze.  Dark, rich, and lush colors accent the exposed brick and invitingly plush sofas and chairs, enhancing the air of romance and passion you feel as soon as you enter.  Sexy ethereal house beats play in the background early in the evening and progress into high energy house mixes as the night matures.  In addition to house music Noir caters to dance, hip hop, funk and rock.  Enticed yet?

The owner of Noir brings his experience from South Beach, and hopes to give Raleigh a sexy and mysterious bar with an artistic edge.  The general manager is also an experienced DJ, and his contribution will be in serving up some of the best electronica available.  Sunday nights will showcase his true talents, bringing in great DJs and guiding them as they energize the night.

A few details:  Noir is open Tuesday through Sunday nights.  The patio opens at 8PM, which allows for some great people watching as the night heats up.  There is no cover charge, except during special events, but don’t think that means any slob gets entry.  This place is sexy, and you’ll want to fit in.  The dress code is smart casual, meaning anything from designer t-shirts and jeans to your best club wear is allowed. 

Finally, in case you are curious about the name, the owners chose it out of their love for film noir.  Film noir literally means “black film” in French and features themes with an overall dark and shadowy outlook, filmed in black and white.  Most noir stories feature main characters who find themselves embroiled in hopeless situations, fighting against a force that threatens to overtake them. That force is usually a man’s inability to resist the temptation of a beautiful, mysterious, sometimes cruel, and overwhelmingly sensual woman — the femme fatale.   Soon the inner bar will showcase these films, lending an intriguing air to an already intense atmosphere.

If you’re a music lover, if you’re a film lover, if you’re a cocktail lover…honestly, if you’re a lover period, be prepared to fall for Noir.

Noir is located at 425 Glenwood Avenue, between Tucker and North Streets, in Raleigh.

Contact us at info@noirbarlounge.com or check out our site for more details: www.noir-raleigh.com

Carolina Ale House is the Exclusive Host of the Canes Cool Bar Tours Once Again

Carolina Ale House and the Carolina Hurricanes Team up for Another Great Season of Hockey

Raleigh, NC – When the Canes are on the road during the 2009-2010 season, Caniac fans will once again gather at Carolina Ale House for the Canes Cool Bars Tour.  All Carolina Ale House locations will play host to games, contests, prizes, raffles and more. The Canes’ mascot, Stormy, will be in the house, as well as Ron the Ref & members of the Eye Care Associates Storm Squad.
 
The 2009-2010 Cool Bar Tour schedule is:

 Wed., Oct. 21^st, 7P, Canes vs. NYI @ Cary (2240 Walnut St. Cary)

Wed., Nov. 4^th, 7:30P, Canes vs. FLA @ Brier Creek (7981 Skyland Ridge Pkwy. Raleigh)

Wed., Dec. 9^th, 7P, Canes vs. NJ @ Wake Forest (11685 Northpark Dr. Wake Forest)

Fri., Dec. 18^th, 7:30P, Canes vs. FLA @ North Raleigh (4512 Falls of Neuse Rd. Raleigh)

Thur., Jan. 14^th, 7:30P, Canes vs. DET @ Brier Creek (7981 Skyland Ridge Pkwy. Raleigh)

Sat., Jan. 23^rd, 1P, Canes vs. PHI @ Wilmington (317-C College Rd. Wilmington)

Sat., Feb. 6^th, 7P, Canes vs. NYI @ Durham (3911 Durham Chapel Hill Blvd. Durham)

Wed., Mar. 10^th, 7P, Canes vs. WSH @ Cary (2240 Walnut St. Cary)

Wed., Mar. 31^st, 7P, Canes vs. MTL @ Wake Forest (11685 Northpark Dr. Wake Forest)

Sat., Apr. 10, 1P, Canes vs. BOS @ Raleigh (512 Creekside Dr. Raleigh)

Carolina Ale House has great daily food and drink specials, as well as separate smoking and non-smoking sections (with air purifiers) so the whole family can come out and cheer the Canes on to victory.

Fans that attend five of the 10 Cool Bar events will be entered to win a unique hockey stick chair autographed by the Carolina Hurricanes at the end of the season. (See EXAMPLE of the chair attached.  This is not the actual chair.)  Some restrictions will apply.  Cool Bars schedules are available at any Carolina Ale House and at the RBC Center.

 Carolina Ale House (www.CarolinaAleHouse.com), celebrating 10 years of business in 2009, boasts eleven locations (six locations in the Triangle, a location in Terminal 2 of RDU International Airport, two locations South Carolina and two in South Florida.)  Additional locations are in the works for 2009 (Fayetteville & Wilmington, NC) and two more confirmed for 2010 (Greenville, SC and a rooftop concept in downtown Raleigh.)  LM Restaurants is the parent company of Carolina Ale House and several other award-winning restaurants on the East coast (www.lmrest.com).