Blind dates and nearly-blind first dates are all too common these days, now that online connections are practically dominating our social interactions. No longer is it typical to meet a potentially dateable guy at gatherings of mutual friends, where you can get a breakdown of his personality, dating history and other tidbits straight from trusted friends’ mouths. Now it is much more likely the guy you’re going out with Friday night is merely someone with whom you happen to share a handful of Facebook friends or you’ve shared “guided communication” on eHarmony. You’ve probably shared pics but never met in person…until now. In this situation knowing what to expect is much harder. Figuring out what, if anything, happens next is nearly impossible.
Suppose you go on one of these nearly-blind dates, and your companion turns out to be a decent guy, pleasant and well-mannered. So far you’re interested and would be open to another date. Since you barely know the guy, how do you determine if he’s interested? Granted, when he saw you he didn’t duck out the back door or immediately fake a family emergency. But is he setting the stage for Date #2? Let’s take a look at his behavior and see.
Attracted?
Is he making much eye contact? No matter how shy he may be, if he finds you attractive he won’t be able to keep his eyes off you. Is he commenting on how attractive you are to him? An interested guy will exclaim “You’re gorgeous!” or “You’re so much prettier than your photos.” He’ll find a way to compliment you on something. Is he making excuses for casual touches? An attracted guy will touch your arm or your back as he leads you to the dinner table or through a door, or will place his hand on yours for emphasis while telling a story.
Interested?
Is he smiling a lot? An intrigued guy will smile a lot and even laugh when you attempt something funny. Is he actively engaged in the conversation? Is he asking lots of questions about you and your interests? An interested man will find your conversation fascinating and will want to keep it going. Did you agree to meet just for one drink? A guy who is pleasantly surprised by his interest in you will offer to spend more time, and try to extend your date to a second drink or maybe a meal.
Gentlemanly?
Is he comfortable just hanging out? An interested guy won’t be distracted and focused on flagging down the waiter to get the bill. Is he being generous? An eager-to-impress guy will be happy to pay the bill and will wave off your offer to split it. Does he open the door for you and insist upon walking you to your car? A guy hoping to rate for Date #2 won’t just shake your hand at the door, say “It was very nice to meet you,” and stride off. He will want to milk those last few minutes out of your date, ensure you make it to your car safely, and leave you with a good impression.
And finally, has he offered up the second date? An attracted man will speak openly of the possibility of a next meeting and perhaps even try to set one up during the first date. For instance, if you discover you’re both hockey fans, he’ll suggest “Next time let’s go to a game”.
Individually you can’t take any one of these situations to definitively mean there’s no second date on the horizon. However, if a pattern of lacking interest starts to emerge, don’t despair! Just excuse yourself as pleasantly and gracefully as possible, and prepare to move your focus to Mr. Next-in-Line.
